A couple days ago I woke up with the WORST stiff neck ever! It was causing me to have a gigantic headache. In fact, it's still bothering me today. So in the afternoon I told the boys to just watch a movie so I could lay down in my room with the baby. I got Ezra to sleep and was just trying to relax my neck on my pillow. Immediately I could hear the boys being wild out in the front room. They would then open my door and come in my room one by one and complain to me about who did what to them. At this point I got very upset and told them all to get out of my room and stay out! The baby was asleep! Again I could hear all kinds of noises out in the front room... but at least they weren't bothering me. Then Gavin came in and was trying to tell me something but I lost it at that point and angrily told him to GET OUT! He walked out with his head down and shut my door. It was quiet. Then I heard Chase go into Gavin's room and say, "Well... what did she say?" I heard Gavin respond and he was obviously crying, "Nothing. I don't want to talk about it." Chase kept coaxing him with "What did she say to you?" over and over. But Gavin just kept saying in a sad voice, "Nothing. It was really bad." Then I heard Gav say, "We did it all for nothing." I layed there and just listened for a while. My anger subsided and I was feeling a little bad for yelling at Gavin. I decided to go out to console him. At this point the 3 boys were sitting on the couch watching TV. Immediately I noticed something different... the family room and the piano room were spotless! "We cleaned the house for you mommy!" they all said. My heart just sank, how could I have been so mean. "We had a surprise for you too mommy, but you didn't come out." So I told them I would go back in my room and come back out so they could show me the surprise. When I came back out they were sitting like this...
They looked so sweet sitting in the middle of the clean room each holding the picture of them with one hand. I apologized and hugged and kissed them and thanked them for helping me out when I didn't feel good.
I get so frustrated with myself when I get angry with my kids. I'm by no means a perfect parent. My desire to be, though, is much stronger. I'm reminded of that country song 'It Won't Be Like This for Long'. That song brings tears to my eyes. It WON'T be like this for long. Soon they'll be grown and I know I will long for the days when they were running around the house and toys were strung everywhere. Each day is a new day to try harder and be better. I pray everyday for patience with my kids. They're only this little once and I plan to make the most of it. So I'm taking today to be the best mommy that I can be. And we'll go from there. One day at a time.
10 comments:
I think that we all feel that way as moms. Good thing we can repent each night and try to do better the next day.
Keep up the good work.
Okay, I 'bout cried reading this! That was SO sweet of them to clean the house like that for you!! Don't you just want to kick yourself when you do things like that?? I totally feel ya on wanting to be a better, more patient mom. We really do need to enjoy these times because they go by way too fast.
Alright I am sitting here crying because this happened pretty much the same way on Saturday! Tonight I am going on an ice cream date with Austin to just have some fun time with him because lately we have been having a hard time. That song kills me every time I hear it! being a mom is so hard! This post has totally made me feel better-I'm not the only one having a hard time. WE ARE GREAT MOTHERS!! Thanks for posting-I am sure it was hard!!
Awww! Thanks for that Emily! What a perfect reminder of patience. I feel like Chase is so patient with me (most of the time) but when it's flipped around I definitely lose it before he does. Patience is definitely a virtue...one that I will work everyday, if I have to, to achieve it. Thanks for this wonderful reminder!
As i'm ready this I'm listening to that song play on my blog. i'm glad i'm not the only one that has these days. I hope your neck is feeling better.
Thanks for this blog. I find comfort in knowing Im not the only one out there. Who looses it all to frequently. Its a good thing children are so quick to forgive us. NO wonder we are asked to be childlike.
You made me cry, only because I have done that a few times. I have little patience and I try so hard to be better for them every day. I am not always successful but I try. That is why Mommies get time outs too, so I can gather my thoughts and not freak out on them like I want to. I'm sorry this happened to you but it's refreshing to hear that I am not the only "imperfect" mom out there. I get down on myself all the time.
Em, your the best...we've all been there! Thanks for the reminder. Here's to more patience for all us mothers!
I love that song, and I too have had many days like that. I guess it is good in a way because it puts things in to perspective. A side from all the day to day things that happen and don't go the way we would like them to, one day we will miss those little things that seem to get on our nerves. I try to remind myself (almost daily) that one day they won't want to hang out with Mom and I should appreciate those moments when they do. Thanks for the post. It was cute.
What sweeties you have! I've had my share of days like that. Too many lately. Thanks for sharing!
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